Earlier this week I had a conversation with someone about being a Godly woman, wife, and mother. The person I talked to gave some insight as to what they thought that looked like and as they were doing so I began thinking of some of the women I've seen whom seem to be the perfectly put together version of a Godly woman. And it scared me to death!! I wasn't those things. These women always seemed poise, confident, quiet and meek, always said the right thing at the right time, had play dates with the other wives kids, cooked, knew crafts, dressed nicely, the list went on and on. Myself on the other hand....I'm trying to learn to cook, I'm somewhat socially awkward at times, I can be a little self-conscious in new situations, I tend to get loud when I'm excited or having fun, I sometimes joke when I shouldn't, I sure as heck don't know how to do crafts, and my wardrobe is on an obvious budget lol. In other words, I was nothing like these women and as I began thinking about it I started becoming more worried and frustrated that I would NEVER be those things (Chatterbox talking!).
I went home that night in complete self-destruct mode, "I'm not ladylike.", "I'd much rather watch a football game than Downton Abby.", "I like enjoying myself and laughing, even if I do get a little loud.", "And a beer every once and a while is nice!". By the end of the night I had determined that I wasn't meant to be a Godly woman, my personality just didn't fit that mold. I loved God, I wanted to follow Him, I wanted to raise my children in a home of faith, but I couldn't be the Stepford Wife that I thought was what a Godly woman had to be. So needless to say I went to bed that night discouraged and disappointed with myself and somewhat scared for my future.
The next morning I woke up, got down on my knees and prayed to God. I prayed for guidance and understanding, to be shown what kind of woman He made me to be and if I'd ever be good enough to be one of those perfect Godly women. And just as God does when you prostrate yourself and come to Him in dire need, He answered and He answered so beautifully and clearly that as I'm typing this it makes me tear up at His love for me.
You are perfect! I made you perfectly. There are no mistakes in you. You may never look or act exactly like some of the other women you see around you, but I don't look to those things, I look to your heart. Follow my Word, it's clear as to what a woman who truly seeks Me looks like and those are characteristics of the heart, not appearance and likes/dislikes. You are unique and one-of-a-kind, and there will never be another woman like you, which is why you're going to be YOUR version of a Godly woman. Give me your heart, follow my commands, let me transform those parts of you to be in better obedience to Me, and then let your unique flair shine through those places; be Courtney, the Godly woman.
Talk about a weight lifted off my shoulders and a huge confidence boost!!! God told me I was perfect. God told me I didn't need to look or act exactly like all those other women that I deemed so "perfect". God told me that I could be me and be a woman after His heart at the same time.
So here's what I'm saying. There are conditions of the heart that God wants all of His children to exhibit and that's stated clearly in His Word. And as children of God we should each be striving, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to inhabit and demonstrate those conditions each and every day....but it's not a one-size-fits-all. God didn't mass produce us like clones, He masterfully knit each and every one of us together in our mother's wombs and He did so with purpose to make each of us unique, beautiful, and wonderful in our own specific ways and by no means does He want that stripped from us. So when you're like me and doubting whether your personality makes you capable of becoming a Godly woman or man, remember this; God would not have placed anything inside of us that would keep us from being able to obey His Word, but by living in a fallen world we can develop traits and characteristics that go against God's word for our lives and make following and transforming difficult. So take those traits and test them? The true personality God graced you with will never keep you from obedience, but rather can be done in accordance with His Word to bless the places you're in and the people you surround. But those traits that we develop as a result of our circumstances and events in this world, those traits that clearly come against God's hope for us, that come from places of selfishness or defensiveness, those traits aren't what God graced us with and we don't need them; they don't bring true life or transformation, instead they bring bondage and evil repetitious cycles of stagnated growth and those traits can go to Hell!
Decide today to test your personality in an effort to get back to the way God originally designed you. Throw off the clothes of the world that you've layered on top of the majestic robes God birthed you in. Strip away the traits that are acting as walls, keeping you out of the emotional treasures God has marked out for you, and instead decide to embrace the already Godly and beautiful personality He created you with. Your unique and specific personality is a blessing when it's allowed to shine all on it's own, so find that personality and use it to bless those around you and honor and thank God for His perfect creation. Thank you, Father.
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